The Duchy Razilium

A final entry... For the Cynics.

Sat, 22 Apr 2006 06:19:23 GMT

I did this myself and nearly shat myself. My grand goodbye to the world of blogging...
If I ever find out who did this, he or she receives a hearty handshake and dinner on me. Maybe even a happy ending. Who knows?

Pasted from Atomos' MySpace bulletin.
1- Go to Google
2- Type in the word "Failure"
3- Instead of clicking "Google Search," click "I'm Feeling Lucky."
4- Spread the word before the people at Google "fix" it.

Tue, 04 Apr 2006 19:47:04 GMT

As an afterthought, I am also ceasing my blogging. Thanks for what support I've received, and good luck to all of you. There's far too much here for me to be happy picking up and continuing.

In Veritas Sanctus,
Razi

Tue, 04 Apr 2006 11:27:34 GMT

For any who might be interested, I am no longer using raes@vampirethemasquerade.com as my email address, and it will be auto-deleted by the server within a set amount of days. If I am interested in talking to you via email I will provide you with the new address.

Otherwise, fuck off.

Message #334-28-9735b

Tue, 04 Apr 2006 08:10:13 GMT

The fascist government has taken over my network. They didn't like what I had to say in my last entry. I managed to encrypt the coding to the original entry so that should they remove it, it will crash their networkings and drop their data into the mainstream. The following is their mandated revision of my entry. Freedom of the press, my ass...

This is something that you may read.

CAST OF CHARACTERS:
Razi, a female.
Ian, the female's mate.
Johan, a FOREIGN TERRORIST.
Kristoff*, a male.
Kalee, another FOREIGN TERRORIST.
Jennifer*, a second female.
Juniper*, the second female's mate.
Sean, a second male.

THE STORY:
Please continue reading.

RAZI is a International Breach of Security. She has been involved with IAN, KRISTOFF* and two FOREIGN TERRORISTS. These TERRORISTS were plotting to bomb the White House before intervention of the Government. The guilty parties have been placed under Federal arrest. KRISTOFF* has been granted immunity for his relations with RAZI due to bringing the matter to Police Attention. JENNIFER* and JUNIPER* were not involved in this attempted Coup D'Etat and have also received Government Immunity. SEAN holds no bearing on the outcome to this trial and has erased from Federal records.

The TERRORISTS are being held without bail in an undocumented location, as are RAZI and IAN for aiding these detriments to the American Way. A public execution of the TERRORISTS will be held after they are found Guilty by the State, and RAZI and IAN will be exported immediately.

//end

*These names have been changed to protect the Innocent.

Here we go... Yo.

Tue, 04 Apr 2006 07:20:20 GMT

Note: The following bears about as much relevance to the actual events as McDonald's does to actual beef.

H'okay, so. Here is the breakdown, yo. I know, the break-down.

Go.

CAST OF CHARACTERS:
Razi: The gorgeous, sexy, funny, all-around amazing girl who, incidentally, has issues with what we like to call "monogamy."
Ian: Razi's boyfriend. He's sexy, too... But rather fed up with these hnch9tvyy49o H 74HbnfiONLINE INTERNET BOYS-poohead TWAT.
Brinny aka Johan: The suave, mysterious, cynical Swede. Who is really a deep romantic, and who also probably has AIDS, because they have sex in the streets in Sweden.
Kaeden: The sweet and idealistic Southern boy, whose heart Razi has broken over... and over... and over.
Kalee aka the Danish: The strange Scandinavian kid who has a clinical addiction to three-way MSN chatting, and also likes to accuse people of cybering.
Jexi aka Jessica aka Dragon Penguin: The bright and uber-cheerful Popular Girl of Online High-School, but not in that annoying blonde rich-bitch glommy Tampon way.
Jeff aka Darth Balls: Jexi's boyfriend. I have nothing more to say really.
Sean aka Malar: The repressed young man who is the major stockholder of Emo Incorporated. He also likes to sit on benches with a bucket on his head.

THE STORY:
Okay. Here we go? Ready? Ready? Hold on...

RAZI was dating KAEDEN, but got tired of him and went back to IAN. IAN had made friends with JEXI, who thinks KAEDEN is creepy, and she's dating JEFF but has a crush on SEAN, who likes JEXI since he got over his thing for RAZI. Meanwhile RAZI is friends with KALEE, who she calls THE DANISH, and she still kind of likes KAEDEN, but she's dating IAN, and KAEDEN, while deeply in love with RAZI, is developing feelings for JEXI, who denies her fondness for KAEDEN even though she talks to either him or SEAN every night for hours. THE DANISH is friends with BRINNY who thinks KAEDEN is pathetic and is curious to talk with RAZI, so THE DANISH starts inviting them into random three-way instant message conversations, usually while RAZI is playing Neverwinter Nights and BRINNY is trying to work out. KAEDEN is feeling unhappy because RAZI is dating IAN and IAN doesn't like KAEDEN, but RAZI and BRINNY are beginning to fall for each other and trying hard to deny it, since BRINNY thinks online relationships are for tossers and still likes mocking KAEDEN. Of course RAZI is dating IAN, and IAN thinks both KAEDEN and BRINNY are funny, much like a midget trapped in a glass bowl. KAEDEN is trying desperately to win back RAZI and come see her in person, while BRINNY books a ticket to America to stay with RAZI, and incidentally IAN. Meanwhile JEXI wants to come live with SEAN and probably go see KAEDEN, but she's still with JEFF, who will probably kill SEAN, KAEDEN and JEXI too if he ever reads this. KAEDEN is pining over BRINNY and trying to psych out RAZI about JEXI, who is one of RAZI's best friends and while RAZI only wants the best for KAEDEN she is interested in BRINNY and involved with IAN, who doesn't approve of JEXI and SEAN because of JEFF and doesn't trust BRINNY at all. During all this THE DANISH is absolutely positive that RAZI and BRINNY are cybering, but they're not, and is trying to blackmail RAZI to get RAZI's Neverwinter Nights password, which she had given to KAEDEN, but changed after she went back to IAN, who isn't as enigmatic as BRINNY, but also doesn't have AIDS, which is a huge plus.

Also JEXI and KAEDEN are probably soul mates because they live hundreds of miles apart but have jobs at the same chain of store, and despite how RAZI is attracted to BRINNY she has a bad feeling he's going to drag her to a gym while he's here, unless she distracts him with her friend EMILY, who has gone after IAN before as well as RAZI's ex RYAN, so RAZI knows EMILY will have no problem taking BRINNY off her hands if it comes to that... If RAZI can avoid getting jealous over EMILY and BRINNY and KAEDEN and JEXI, anyway, and be content with just IAN for the rest of her life, when it comes to that.

Meanwhile JEFF will become a serial killer and SEAN an international Playboy, probably through cybering with THE DANISH.

Wow, that's deep, man.

Tue, 04 Apr 2006 06:02:58 GMT

Convo with Kaeden re: Johan. According to Ian, "That's awful deep for a PB&J."

r a z i k i n says:
Totally, not obsessed.
r a z i k i n says:
Is peanut butter obsessed with jelly, or do people just lump them together all the time, so they learn to enjoy each other's company? =P

Verily, thou art an angel!

Tue, 04 Apr 2006 04:14:12 GMT

Went to see Ice Age 2...

FUCKING AWESOME RaUGH RAUGH POOPIE j7un tp;uo7[m'q niBOOB

Is it wrong that I found Ellie the mammoth attractive? I mean I know she's a mammoth and all... But... DAMN. Yeah. Mmm, big mammoth ass.

And of course as always, Diego (DENIS LEARY <3!) is my god.

swedes have orgies in the streets BITCH

Even though I've said it before...

Sun, 02 Apr 2006 21:20:18 GMT

Thank you, so much, for everything Johan.

omfg RAGH RAGH gn48eup; FG kTK

Sat, 01 Apr 2006 23:38:14 GMT

What have you done with my parents, you vile beasts from Mars?! Give them back to me! Give them back!

But on second thought... Nah, you keep 'em.

For those of you who don't talk to me on MSN, you may not know the news, so I'll tell you: Last Wednesday my martini-sloshing mother kicked me out, alone and vulnerable, into the cruel and vicious suburban streets. I suffered there in the cold and biting rain, my birds hunched and bedraggled in their cages, my only belongings in my backpack and duffle being drenched to the core.

Massachusetts Mike Says: She's a lying whore, it was a gorgeous sunny day out Wednesday.

SILENCE!

In any case, Ian came to my rescue and I've been living with him until my dad kicks some sense into the dumb tart and they make me come home.

But apparently that's not going to happen, seeing as when I called this afternoon to get my cell-phone charger they presented me with four fuckin' HUGE garbage bags filled with what appeared to be the entire contents of my room and closet.

Which is effin' RAWK, but still, it leaves me to wonder...

WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CELL-PHONE CHARGER?!?

My mortal weakness.

Sat, 01 Apr 2006 05:45:20 GMT

I've come to realize that my birthname is my equivalent of a banshee's keen, or Kryptonite, or Mexican food. When you address me with it, no matter who you are and in what context you're using it, one of two things will happen:

1. I will mentally snap and attack you with ravening madness, desperate to gouge out your eyes with my filed nails and tear the soft weakness of your throat into weeping shreds, your blood coursing rivers down my hands and arms and from my lips and mouth, drenching my neck and breast with crimson tears
(or)
2. I'll curl up in the corner and cry.

The reaction prompted seems to depend on what you mean to me. There's one person I know that calls me by that name cheerfully and without my retaliation (he actually corrects himself when he addresses me as Razi), but he's been watching out for me since I started highschool, and he's basically the only chance I have of graduating now. (My guidance counselor, you twit.)

For example, let's look at four different people, in order from most trusted to least, and my responses to That Name (for now we'll substitute the name Alfred) coming from them: Ian, Brinny, Craig (aka "Innocent") and my ex-boyfriend who we will simply call Dickface.

Craig, before you start squawking about being next-to-last on the list, there is a massive drop in popularity between number 3 (you) and number 4 (Dickface). Like Niagra Falls. Or Brinny's pants when he sees a single mom.

Sorry, couldn't help that one. =3

Ian: "Hi Alfred, what's up?"
Razi: -wobbly anime eyes- "You don't love meeeeee..." -barely restrained tears-

Brinny: "Hey Alfred, how's it going?"
Razi: -bursts into tears and sobs in a corner until Brinny stops being a dumbass and makes it better-

Craig: "Alfred, you're hot."
Razi: "If you ever call me that again, I will cut your weewee off. But I love you, so you get a warning. =D"

Dickface: "I hate you Alfred."
Razi: "OMG RAUUUUUUGH KILL DEAD MUSHROOMS HULK SMASH NOB79QNLiyf ho5tywqtGVESH" -brutal murder, violates corpse-

So there we have it. Don't call me Alfred, or I'll piss in your eyesockets.

You know, Ian...

Sat, 01 Apr 2006 05:24:19 GMT

"Some day I'm going to get blown up and die while trying desperately to defuse a bomb... And then when it's all over and done, you'll look at my corpse and say, 'There was an off switch on the back.'"

Mist.

Fri, 31 Mar 2006 19:10:21 GMT

Rammstein: Nebel (Mist)

They stand with their arms tightly around each other
a mixture of flesh, so rich in days
where the sea touches the land
she wants to tell him the truth

But the wind eats her words
where the sea ends
she holds his hand, trembling
and kissed him on the forehead

She carries the evening in her chest
and knows that she must wither away
she lays her head in his lap
and asks for a last kiss

and then he kissed her
where the sea ends
her lips, delicate and pale
and his eyes tear up

The last kiss was so long ago
the last kiss
he does not remember it anymore

This is why I keep him around.

Fri, 31 Mar 2006 08:36:27 GMT

Somehow he manages to get me out of my bleakest moods with one retarded comment... lol.

r a z i k i n says:
Meh, angst is bad, cheer me up Joanie =/
Johan says:
Every time you use a girls name for me I die a little inside :(

MSI fits WAY too well... Oh god.

Fri, 31 Mar 2006 04:59:39 GMT

Shuffle iPod -> first 15 songs add "...in my pants" (Creative Zen actually, on shuffle, 512 MB). Yes, I do have a lot of MSI.

01. She Wants Revenge - Monologue In My Pants
02. Rob Zombie - Living Dead Girl In My Pants
03. MSI - What Do They Know In My Pants
04. MSI - Brooklyn Hype In My Pants
05. REM - Losing My Religion In My Pants
06. MSI - Stupid MotherFucker In My Pants
07. Dope - Bitch In My Pants
08. MSI - The Last Gay Song In My Pants
09. System of a Down - Thetawaves In My Pants
10. MSI - Wack! In My Pants
11. She Wants Revenge - I Don't Want To Fall In Love In My Pants
12. MSI - Tornado In My Pants
13. Rob Zombie - Feel So Numb In My Pants
14. Dope - Today Is The Day In My Pants
15. She Wants Revenge - Someone Must Get Hurt In My Pants

Smite Evil!

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 20:44:49 GMT

I Am A: Neutral Evil Human Fighter Bard

Alignment:
Neutral Evil characters believe in Number One. Their personal gain takes precedance over all else, and they will work with whomever necessary and whatever institutions necessary to further their own goals.

Race:
Humans are the 'average' race. They have the shortest life spans, and because of this, they tend to avoid the racial prejudices that other races are known for. They are also very curious and tend to live 'for the moment'.

Primary Class:
Fighters are the warriors. They use weapons to accomplish their goals. This isn't to say that they aren't intelligent, but that they do, in fact, believe that violence is frequently the answer.

Secondary Class:
Bards are the entertainers. They sing, dance, and play instruments to make other people happy, and, frequently, make money. They also tend to dabble in magic a bit.

Deity:
Cyric is the Neutral Evil god of death, murder, the dead, strife, tyranny, deception, and illusion. His followers are working to secure his position as a new god, and are in conflict with many worshippers of other deities. They wear black or dark purple robes, with silver trimming, and wear silver bracelets. Cyric's symbol is a skull set in a purple starburst.

Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy ofNeppyMan (e-mail)

Whoo-hoo, creative freedom!

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 05:32:20 GMT

So I'm tired of updating my LiveJournal. I'm tired of pouring my heart and soul into this little virtual diary, and having you greedy rubberneckers lap it all up. So here's how you can repay me.

(Note: The above was a case of extreme odd humor, so don't take it seriously. Go ahead and apply the following paragraph, however, to your life/hope/dreams/etc.)

I want all my faithful readers (yes, all two of you) to write me an entry to post in here. Why, you ask? I dunno. I just feel like seeing what you'd have to say if you were me. If you're actually interested in doing this for some godforsaken reason, e-mail or MSN it to me.

And Brinny, I am NOT posting that conversation screenshot, no matter how much you want me to. That doesn't count as a legitimate if-I-were-Razi entry. No. No it doesn't. Stop arguing with your computer screen. It doesn't. Doesn't. Doe--

-THWANNNNG's you upside the head with a frying pan and prods your unconcious Swedish body-

Doesn't. =)

Mom, your logic is infallible.

Tue, 28 Mar 2006 20:55:19 GMT

"I understand what a non-driver's ID is, I just thought maybe it had something to do with driving."

Would anybody like a doughnut?

Tue, 28 Mar 2006 06:18:45 GMT

Cop-o-rific, Batman!

So Ian and I went to see Hills Have Eyes tonight, which I am not even going to TRY to get into right now. Believe me, you'll hear all about that later. The real story occurred after we'd already left the theater, and Ian was driving me home.

The lights weren't on when we reached my house. Normally, in a normal family, that wouldn't matter; but my dad leaves the front lights on whenever he waits for me to come home, to, I don't know, guide me safely through the gales of passion and lust. I guess. In any case they weren't on, so Ian waited for me to get in the house before leaving.

It didn't happen. The doors were locked, and since I'm not Responsible Enough to have a key to my own house (yet they're pushing me to get my license and freely operate three thousand pounds of rolling steel?) Ian was forced to take me back to his house which, I might add, he seemed not at all dismayed to do. Being a girl, I need a fresh outfit each day; luckily in our brand-new Wal-Mart Bag O Goodies I had, among other things, a hot pink fitted T-shirt reading "I'm not shy. I'm examining my prey." <3 <3!

We had almost made it home, had just caught sight of our exit, when we passed a cop that had pulled over a tow truck at the side of the road. I knew he was coming after us. Just knew it.

He did.

The funny part is, he pulled us over for a burnt-out headlight. The funnier part is, the headlight had just died this afternoon. The funniest part? In our Wal-Mart Bag O Goodies were the two new replacement bulbs, which I showed the cop. (In retrospect, maybe I shouldn't've turned and grabbed for the bag in the backseat quite so suddenly.) He had a great laugh at our expense and let us go with a warning slip, before tearing off blue-lights-flashing in pursuit of truth, justice, Dunkin Donuts, etc.

Now let me clarify something: the little New England town we live in is in a state of what is scientifically known as Perpetual Suburbia. Our slums make Martha's Vineyard look like the ghetto. To see one cop around here means the jelly doughnuts are half-off. To see two means they're fumigating the HQ. Three? ...that just doesn't happen.

Imagine our shock and awe when not one, but two police cars catch sight of us on Main Street, pull impromptu U-turns, and come hauling ass after us, the Bonnie and Clyde of burnt-out lightbulbs. The poor buggers were downright disappointed when we waved our pink slip and they were forced to allow us on our way. We denied them the night's entertainment. =(

Maybe it's "Double Points for Car Oopsies" week at the department... With a twenty-dollar Krispy Kreme certificate up for grabs.

Lucky bastards.

Razi vs. the World of Iniquity what?

Mon, 27 Mar 2006 22:50:41 GMT

Note. And a weird encounter.

Mon, 27 Mar 2006 15:14:04 GMT

Last entry (the poem) wasn't about anyone in particular, so far as I know... Make of it what you will. =D

In any case, Ian and I were driving to McDonald's this morning and passed a large green pickup truck in the entryway. Two men sat in the cab, older, well-groomed but somehow "soft" looking. It didn't seem to fit right until we drove pst the truck and saw the logo on the side.

Transitions Salon.

But what really stood out was above the words "Transitions Salon" were two blatant symbols: the symbol for male, and the one for female.

I'm really, really hoping they meant they cater to both sexes.

But somehow I doubt it.

curve to kiss eternity

Mon, 27 Mar 2006 15:08:44 GMT

You sing a forgotten desire
a single tear lost in the sea
i watch you, wait for you,
fading in your spirit's light.
Distant scorn paints your lips
with a curve to kiss eternity
and no lover less than she.
Sing your spirit's lullaby -
the prince, the lord, the God
lost before you, untouched,
unremembered as the moments fall.
There is beauty in the anguish
your lips, your cheek, your eyes
the echo of a smile fades
A ghost that drifts unrealized.
Darksweet the cross I bear for you
and to you unseen my face
but in every breathing moment
i long for none but yours.

Words of Wisdom.

Mon, 27 Mar 2006 15:03:47 GMT

Life is always better with a British accent.

My hero!

Wed, 22 Mar 2006 18:13:45 GMT

Torm is officially the coolest, best, most awesome person in the world.

For those of you who play WoI, you know who I'm talking about. For those of you who play D&D but not WoI, you're probably rather confused right now. For those of you who play neither D&D nor WoI, I shall explain.

Torm's Apprentice is the playername of a friend of mine on the World of Inquity NWN server, known simply as "Torm", "Tormy", or sometimes "TORMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH" to those of us who love him. ^^ The reason why he is the coolest, best, and most awesome person in the world will be fully appreciated by my Kemetic siblings that will (eventually) read this.

I'm a Beloved of the Lion-God Maahes. Unfortunately, statues of him are near-impossible to find in my town; Dad (Yinepu) thrives in abundance, as does my other Beloved Ra-Heruakhety, but Maahes is deep in hiding. Occasionally he can be found online, but when he is, he's usually listed under "Sekhmet", and since I have no credit card I'm screwed anyway.

Since I'm decorating a new personal shrine at Ian's house, Ian bought me a beautiful eighteen-inch statue of Dad, along with rich brown velvet and gold cloth to set him on. It's a bit bare at the moment, but my dagger Maahes's Nail and some candy for Dad are there at the moment. I've been looking for a statue of Maahes for over a year, and I figured now would be the perfect time to find one. So I hopped online, and LOW AND BEHOLD, the very first link I found was to a gorgeous cold-cast bronze statue of Maahes on eBay. The problem was, I was broke, Ian was broke, and Ian's credit card was already overdrawn.

Oh yeah, and the lot ended in 12 minutes.

So guess who came to my rescue? You got it-- the thoroughly AWESOME Torm! =D Keep in mind I've never met the guy, but he's become a surrogate, online father to me. He paid for the Maahes statue, plugged in my shipping address, and voila... Maahes will soon be on his way home, with only 58 seconds to spare before the lot ended. =D

I LOVE YOU TORMY! =D

Hanging with Malar (Part One)

Sun, 19 Mar 2006 16:07:19 GMT

So Ian (Taurian God) and myself drove down to Mass yesterday, for no reason other than this: We were going to meet Malar, and be ready for rants, ravings, and other interesting sorts of events (mostly from Ian, but some from our dear non-spamming friend too :D).

We met at the local branch of the Massive Corporate Electronics Store where Ian and I work (I can't tell you the name, you'll stalk me!) and were rewarded by rather suspicious and overly-parentoid looks from his dad. I'm sure my miniskirt and knee-high boots didn't help the sitution much, but still, don't judge a book by its cover. Or a gamer by her clothes.

Anyway, we managed to coerce Malar away from his father with promises of cookies and fresh new forums to visit, and away we went into the mall. It was... interesting. Somehow my period came into conversation (I think it was something like, "I don't think when I'm tired." "I don't think, period." "I don't think when I'm ON my period!" "... ... ...") as well as a menagerie of gay jokes, given a jumpstart by the purple DVD in the "Special Interest" section of Suncoast, called "Adventures of Felix." Or something like that. The first sentence on the back of the DVD was, "Felix was a young man in France, gay, in a relationship, and HIV positive."

Yup.

So anyway, I was tormenting the two semi-homophobes (well, not really, but no guy likes being called gay by his best friend, now does he?) with bad gay jokes, and at one point I turned around suddenly to give Sean a hug.

Ian was in the act of lifting his arm, maybe to flick me, maybe to ruffle my hair, or maybe just to scratch his heterosexual head, and his fist caught me directly in the stomach.

So it wasn't a hug so much as a, OH GOD CATCH ME I'M FALLING.

In any case, we cruised around the mall, wandered into the cinema to find the V for Vendetta showtimes, and then went BACK to the mall for lunch at TGI Friday's. Even though it's Saturday.

While waiting for our food we fell into a conversation about our WoI-ly comrades (yes, we talked about all of YOU!!!), my dearly beloved Kaeden among them. In the course of this Malar began attempting to spew out a sentence involving "Kaeden", "doubting" and "dating" all located terribly close to one another, and ended up telling us, "I don't even feel guilty about dating him."

So THAT cracked Ian and me up for the next twenty minutes, while Malar turned beet-red and buried himself in his glass of mlk.

After the meal we attended V for Vendetta, which was absolutely AMAZING AND PERFECTLY DONE WHICH EVERYONE SHOULD GO SEE (shameless plug), and contrary to what those FILTHY LYING boys might tell you, I did NOT shed a tear at the end, much less huddle crying in my seat at what an amazing story and concept and beautiful executed masterpiece it was.

After that Malar had to leave, sadly, and Ian and I began our long and arduous trek back to our home state.

It was FUN. =D So hang out with Malar, and have fun!

Hmmn.

Sun, 19 Mar 2006 02:38:57 GMT

Is "I like your ankh!" Vermontspeak for "Would you like to fuck?"